Looking forward to all your one-liners and/or doctorate thesis.

Looking forward to seeing BATTLEFIELD EARTH this weekend.

August

ROB ROY (1995) movie **1/2 score ***1/2 (based on mlw’s marking system)

VIEWED AT - West Heath Farm, Burtle, Somerset, England

VIEWED ON - 55” Home Cinema 11 Speaker Dolby Surround System

SUMMARY - A fairly entertaining movie, that, like LAST OF THE MOHICANS, provided more fun for the pre-15 year olds, than for the ‘grown-ups’.

Beautiful locations, an excellent authentic SOUNDING Celtic-styled score for Carter Burwell, and a trio of memorable villains were this movies’ primary assets. Brian Cox, John Hurt, and a very camp/comic Tim Roth gave perfect performances….the three ‘villains’ comprised just about every foul element of human nature. Roth’s foppish, yet ‘superhuman’ Englishman, would not have seemed out of place in a Batman movie….such was his ‘larger than life’ presence. Cox’s almost Dickensian shifty Scot, defines Machiavellianism. A fruity script and various scenes of urination, farting and the extraction of various bodily fluids had the kids, especially, in hysterics…..and the excellent sword-fights, bloody murders, and well staged chases, one of which culminated in Rob hiding out in the maggot-infested carcass of an Aberdeen Angus, all added considerably to the movies entertainment value.

The main problem with this movie, as is often the case, was that the villains easily outshone the good-guys. Andrew Keir, an actor who I have appreciated in the past, was frankly not up to the task of playing the good Duke of Argyll. He looked too old and too ill, and failed to give his character honourable strength and presence. Liam Neeson, in the title role, was likeable but wooden…..his speech and mannerisms were stilted, and he looked particularly ungainly in many of the action sequences. Jessica Lange hardly made any impression….she was the least convincing element of a movie that was already pretty unconvincing. Lange’s dull performance somehow rubberstamped the overall impression the film gave…..somehow the dull and ponderous elements of the film overwhelmed the bits that sparkled….leaving one with the feeling that one had witnessed a 52 minute television episode of something or other, rather than a handsomely produced two-hour epic.

Burwell’s score, typically for this composer, was perfectly CMS. Comparisons with Horner’s score to BRAVEHEART (movie *** score *****) cannot be avoided. Let’s just say Horner’s score was classic, and Burwell’s was very good. The blank-screen opening credits allowed Burwell to state his musical intentions quite clearly….and the composer left the viewer with little doubt about the location of the movie with the use of overt Celtic strains and instrumentation. With hindsight, the opening credits also highlighted the biggest flaw in Burwell’s score….that being the extreme thematic weakness….the movie, being very traditional, one may say old-fashioned, in its attitude, could have done with a bit more wit in the thematic department, even if Burwell had borrowed someone else’s music. Horner’s BRAVEHEART had strong themes, albeit very reminiscent of other peoples music….though Horner’s themes weren’t TOO overbearing. Nevertheless, Burwell did a grand CMS job on ROB ROY. Much romantic music was interspersed with some great Celtic ‘action’ music, complete with all the usual Celtic instrumentation, including voices and thumping percussion (a great contemporary ‘hook’ device…something a modern audience can really relate to). One particularly effective scene has a fire-side gathering of Rob’s clan, enjoying a Gaelic song, following some energetic camp-fire dancing, though undone somewhat by Lange’s leaden presence. However, during the song, the filmmakers, many times, cut to another scene in which villain Tim Roth is stalking a rather enervated Eric Stoltz. Though the scene changes, the music continues….an oft used filmmakers device, but seen here used to best advantage.

Historically ROB ROY couldn’t really be faulted. Rob Roy did exist of course, though in this movie mainly fictitious characters surrounded him. The characters spoke, rather refreshingly, in the language of the time, with the correct attitude also. The movie was set in the early 1700’s, and perfectly demonstrated the conflicts that still existed between the Scottish people and the English crown, and also depicted the hard life that the average person led in 18th century Britain. Frequent references to Virginia further illustrated why so many Welsh, Scottish, English and Irish were so keen to emigrate to the distant colonies of the British Empire. The red-coated British army was also authentically displayed, complete with mitre hats.

Overall then, a strangely subdued movie, considering the gallery of colourful villains. Fortunately, ROB ROY, was slightly less politically correct than one may have expected…certainly less so than the rather lame LAST OF THE MOHICANS, and the historically inaccurate, but very entertaining BRAVEHEART. ROB ROY had SCOTTISH bad guys as well as English. And Roth’s English villain (named Cunningham, by the way), though foppish, was portrayed as has having particularly red blood flowing through his veins…his bedroom antics and his masterful swordsmanship indicated this. And, Rob Roy himself, was a WILLING subject of his master, Marquis ‘Hurt’, until provoked into rebellion. One may have expected Rob Roy to be portrayed as an unwilling, surly and seditious anti-English ‘rebel’ from the start….but he wasn’t.

Very motley crew get stranded on a hostile planet and fight large alien bats and each other.

Fairly standard fodder. The usual mix of pop video camerawork, macho posturing and state-of-the-art monsters. Graeme Revell's score barely makes an impression (synths and "primitive" percussion: this could have been Brad Fiedel or...anybody).

Also, just watched Jackie Chan's "Who Am I?" on HBO...great fun. Some of the best fight scenes of any Chan movie...and that's saying alot.

After that, I caught the "Making of Gladiator" on HBO. A warning to anyone who hasn't seen this movie: this documentary contains nearly every plot point in the film, right up to the end sequence. Don't watch this if you haven't seen the movie itself. Technically, though, a well-made documentary. Funny how they repeated the same score bits from Zimmer's score over and over again, those being the most thematic parts.

Going to see "Screwed" today and "The Virgin Suicides" tonight. Hope at least one of them is good. Coming off a low like "Battlefield Earth", though, I'd be enthusiastic about a movie I would normally consider crap.

I watched "Blade" this afternoon.

A PERFECT MURDER (1998) movie *** score *** (based on mlw’s marking system)

VIEWED AT - West Heath Farm, Burtle, Somerset, England

VIEWED ON - 55” Home Cinema 11 Speaker Dolby Surround System (Sky Premier 3)

A pretty good movie, though it took me a while to warm to it. Michael Douglas was okay, though others may have been better (Gene Hackman, Kevin Spacey or Ray Milland for instance), Viggo Mortensen was wimpy and only sporadically intelligible, Gwyneth Paltrow was excellent, and the outstanding David Suchet was wasted in a small role.

As is usual for a 90’s movie, the New York settings were stunningly realized, and the production values were typically high. An abrupt ending to the movie, something one often wishes for, seemed here to detract from the overall effect. For a movie with a reputation for a twisting plot, I found the unfolding events to be particularly unsurprising. In fact, had it not been for the production values and the cast, A PERFECT MURDER might have the appearance of a cable movie. Davis’ direction was efficient, and a step in the right direction after his disappointing CHAIN REACTION.

James Newton Howard’s score was fine. The highly polished visuals gave Newton Howard more inspiration than the plot mechanics, but the composer did what he could. Despite a few moments of clumsy bombast, much of the score was slick and movie-enhancing. Definitely a successful CMS score…..on the whole.

MAJORIE MORNINGSTAR (1957) movie **1/2 score *** (based on mlw’s marking system)

VIEWED AT - West Heath Farm, Burtle, Somerset, England

VIEWED ON - 14” Black and White Hitachi Portable (Video Tape)

A nice movie, but one that doesn’t COMMAND your attention. Gene Kelly is okay, he shows once again how well he can dance and how badly he can sing, and Natalie Wood is sweet. The story of a New York Jewish family provides the plot, and the focus of the movie is on Wood’s relationship with Kelly as she aspires to stardom.

Max Steiner scored the movie with typical assurance….but here his main theme was an adaptation of somebody else’s song.

THE LAST COMMAND (1955) movie *** score **** (based on mlw’s marking system)

VIEWED AT - West Heath Farm, Burtle, Somerset, England

VIEWED ON - 55” Home Cinema 11 Speaker Dolby Surround System

The story of the Alamo is here told primarily from the point of view of Bowie, and despite Sterling Hayden’s typically wooden performance, THE LAST COMMAND had the edge over 1960’s THE ALAMO (movie ** score ***1/2), to my mind. Hayden was actually okay, but the rest of the cast seemed to enter into the spirit of the movie with more conviction. Richard Carlson was in rare form as Travis, and Ernest Borgnine and J Carrol Naish were excellent in support.

Much as I admire John Wayne, I thought his 1960 tribute to the men who fought for freedom, was unnecessarily drawn out, and was hampered by too many changes of mood and far too many irrelevancies. THE LAST COMMAND was far more urgent and concise, gave far more DESERVED attention to the motives of the Mexicans, and also, mercifully, didn’t prolong the length of the climactic battle.

However, Tiomkin’s score to THE ALAMO was excellent, with a particularly impressive opening credits section of music that set-up the rest of the score. Steiner’s musical accompaniment to the rather deeper and more involving LAST COMMAND was even more impressive….in fact, I would say masterful. All of the usual Western musical devices were there…the guitars and all the rest of it. But on top of that, Steiner scored the advancing Mexican’s with particularly interesting and off-kilter martial music…don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t mocking the Mexicans, his music characterized the approaching army in a way that can only be made clear on viewing the movie. The highlight of the score though, was Steiner’s heavily romantic ‘Mexican’ music….sublime. A beautiful theme, overflowing with emotional twists and turns, and scored with solo string passages and mandolins.

I found Roth extremely fakey and look-at-ME! in ROB ROY, especially compared to more subdued and interesting work he's done in RESERVOIR DOGS and GRIDLOCK'D. I was amazed that he was nominated for the Oscar for this one.

Yesterday I saw SCREAM 3 at the four-dollar house, and enjoyed it immensely. As with the previous two, it's more of a comedy than a horror film, but unlike the previous two, there were bits that genuinely unsettled me. I attribute this to the imagination of the series' new writer Ehren Kruger, who may be a real diamond in the rough (he also wrote the preposterous but entertaining REINDEER GAMES, and seems a bit less the pasticheur that SCREAM creator Kevin Williamson is.) Marco Beltrami's score is superb, the best I think I've heard from him yet. I don't own any of his work to date, but I might consider picking up this one. When or if it's cheap enough, or when or if the expanded promo or boot comes out. I'm sure the Varese album won't be too luxurious ...

And the week before that, I saw U-571, which surprised the hell out of me ... I really expected nothing of it, but it's quite dense and captivating. As I've mentioned elsewhere, I didn't care for director Jonathan Mostow's earlier BREAKDOWN, but this represents a kind of quantum leap. I was NOT impressed by the Richard Marvin score, which is serviceable but uninspired.

I only went to it because I could sneak in next door from the movie I'd just watched, FREQUENCY, which I also admired. Not least for its remarkable lack of sentimentality. Having lost my own father recently (ten weeks ago today, in fact), I expected to be crying helplessly through the whole thing, but no, not at all ... it's more of a thriller, sort of a weird cross between SEVEN and FIELD OF DREAMS. I admired the logic behind it, and resented the fact that I've been working on something passingly similar. Who knew?

Kudos to director Gregory Hoblit in particular, although I remember someone complaining about his shaky-cam style (a hangover from his work on NYPD BLUE -- I thought it was hilarious that he inserted, matter-of-factly, a bit from an old episode of HILL STREET BLUES that he directed, played on TV in the background.)

Based on the end title credits, the MAIN title music isn't Kamen's, but J. Peter Robinson's. I thought Kamen's work wasn't terribly melodic (how often is it, ever?), but served the picture well enough.

You said – “…it seemed implicit that John Hurt and Tim Roth were father and son (illegitimately) -- that's the only reason Hurt's character put up with Roth's at all, and that's also the reason why Hurt takes the necklace (was that what it was? not sure) from Roth's corpse at the end. The movie doesn't sell this too hard….”

The object in question was a miniature portrait of a woman, presumably Roth’s mother…Roth was seen examining the portrait at various points throughout the movie.

You said – “…I wonder if there were more signals in the original script or original cut.”

That may well be the case.

You said – “…I found Roth extremely fakey and look-at-ME! in ROB ROY…”

A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT (1949) movie ** score **1/2

VIEWED AT - West Heath Farm, Burtle, Somerset, England

VIEWED ON - 55” Home Cinema 11 Speaker Dolby Surround System (Sky Cinema 2)

A distinctly unmagical movie in which Crosby is unimaginatively transported back to 6th century Arthurian England. Poor matt colour, a witless script, mediocre songs, stilted performances and an undistinguished Victor Young score, do not quite eliminate ALL reason to watch this movie.

quote:

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Originally posted by DANIEL2:
A CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT (1949) movie ** score **1/2

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Wasn't there another version starring Patrick Stewart? I read Mark Twains novel and loved it.

Of course, LIVE AND LET DIE is like GONE WITH THE WIND compaired to Bond's most recent outing.

COME NEXT SPRING (1956) movie **** score ****1/2

VIEWED AT - West Heath Farm, Burtle, Somerset, England

VIEWED ON - 55” Home Cinema 11 Speaker Dolby Surround System

This is the sort of film where you say to yourself….it doesn’t matter where the people come from….you just see them as people, and can identify with them. Well, the location of this movie was Arkansas, captured in quite refreshing colour. In fact, the whole movie was refreshing….a real treat that put me in mind of such movies as 1997’s SHILOH (movie **** score ****). One of the great things about COME NEXT SPRING was, it didn’t try TOO hard. For a rural sentimental ‘family movie’, complete with an endearing and wizened Walter Brennan and various cute animals, the movie didn't really come anywhere near inducing vomit.

The story told of reformed drunk Steve Cochran, who also co-produced the movie, returning to wife Ann Sheridan and two kids, after nine years absence. The movie is all about Cochran’s attempts to gain Sheridan’s forgiveness and ultimately acceptance. The movie goes about its task brilliantly, with plenty of gentle humour, and the whole cast to a man, is excellent. In fact, I would say this is the best I’ve ever seen Cochran, an actor who has been lumbered with an unfortunate number of poor movies. But here he showed just what he could do, Sheridan was perfect, and most importantly, the kids were great too. The period was 1927, and a visit to the local town beautifully recreated the time with authentic vintage cars and buildings.

Max Steiner provided the score….and what a brilliant job he did. The movie opens with Tony Bennett singing Steiner’s title song…..the wondeful theme is heard throughout the movie. A pretty nice song, not Bennett’s best-suited style, but pleasant nevertheless. The rest of the score is Steiner at his best….a model of film scoring professionalism….AND the music has soul. Some gorgeous romantic orchestral music, delicate string solo passages and numerous jaunty ‘Country’-styled segments incorporating some excellent guitar and harmonica work make for a completely satisfying score. As if that wasn’t enough there’s another rendition of the title song during a Halloween party, and Steiner even adapts the theme for some country dancing too. A particularly entertaining fist fight is scored with some very energetic orchestral fireworks, and a climactic cliff-rescue has the main theme heard at its most powerful and soaring.

Saw "Laputa"... pretty good, generic Miyazaki. It'll be re-released in theatres by the end of this year.

Also, watched an X-Files episode for the first time in my life.

Very strange, in that these were hour long shows. Normally, this would be TV movie fodder and padded to 2 hours. These were just the right length to hold your interest.

The Brady program was obviously concocted to beat NBC's broacast of GROWING UP BRADY. What was interesting is that it concentrated on the filming of the last episode of the series (and generally taking quite a few liberties by combining the more salacious aspects), and adopted a rather serious tone, which just highlighted the whole absurdity of the situation.

The Diff'rent Strokes program concentrated on the aftermath of the child stars - specifically Dana Plato, as it pulls a SUNSET BOULEVARD and starts out with her death, and her narrating the sad events that led up to it. The most surprising thing about this is the co-credit of Matthew Bright (FREEWAY, FORBIDDEN ZONE) as one of the writers, and that it does manage to tread the thin line between affecting trash and thoroughly exploitative trash - and in this case, that's not such a bad thing. Ample drug use, lesbian love affairs, and the dramatization of her robbing the video store... plus a very surreal moment with the real Todd Bridges playing the guy he was accused of shooting in real life.

BILLY BUDD (1962) movie *1/2 score **1/2

A disappointing movie, especially considering the subject. It’s 1797 and life’s pretty tough if you’ve been press-ganged into the Royal Navy…as is a young Billy Budd (Terence Stamp, very good in his Oscar nominated debut). The movie began with a promising opening credits sequence during which virtually the entire cast announces their name and Royal Navy rank, and composer Antony Hopkins’ music has passion and vigour. As it turned out, the opening credits sequence was the best part of the movie.

Ustinov’s attempts to represent the struggle between the forces of good (Stamp’s young and innocent ordinary seaman) and evil (Robert Ryan’s vile master at arms) fell flat very early on. Ustinov’s own script was as inept as his direction. A talented man he may be, but on the whole, Ustinov’s work as writer/director has been poor. His LADY L followed in 1965, and was every bit as shambolic as BILLY BUDD.

A shame, for BILLY BUDD boasted an exceptional cast….the potential was there….but the poor scripting led to some stilted performances and a general feeling that every situation and scene was utterly contrived….the characters, rather than appearing to be self-motivated in their actions and behaviour, just seemed to be shepherded from one limp scene of confrontation to the next. Not only that, fatally, the film lacked atmosphere and urgency, and one is left with the impression that one has witnessed a poorly staged play….certainly, one doesn’t FEEL the hardships that did exist within the Royal Navy at that time….not like 1935’s MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (movie ***** score ****) or 1962’s DAMN THE DEFIANT (movie ***1/2 score ***), for instance….two movies that effectively communicated the horrendous conditions the ordinary British sailor endured . In fact, accurately capturing the horror of life on board a Royal Navy ship would surely have been fundamental to the success of BILLY BUDD….and Ustinov failed miserably in this respect.

VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA (1961) movie **1/2 score **

No Enigma devices here, but there is plenty to laugh at, though VOYAGE, of its type, is nevertheless a surprisingly entertaining film. Despite TWO ponderous giant squid attacks (well one was an octopus attacking a model of the submarine), the film never relaxed too much. In fact, right from the start, the movie had a bright, tongue-in-cheek feel, thanks to a pretty nifty script (for this kind of project) and enthusiastic performances from most, especially Walter Pidgeon as Admiral Nelson.

It was very interesting seeing this movie again. After all, it did ‘inspire’ the long running VOYAGE television series. However, whereas the 60’s STAR TREK series was a gleaming showcase for some particularly memorable characters, vivid design and music, AND a massive amount of ideas and innovation…..VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA, the series, was the exact opposite……dull, humourless, uninventive, sexless and repetitive….on the whole.

So, VOYAGE, the movie, had quite a lot of good things going for it…..as well as plenty of hilarious moments, some of them ‘intentional’. Frankie Avalon, who had a small role in the picture, sang the amusing opening credits song…..very STINGRAY-ish. The rest of the score was pretty ordinary….rather than adding anything to the movie, the music merely went along with it. A very good cast also included Joan Fontaine as the ships’ ‘psychiatrist’, Michael Ansara as a bible-spouting maniac, the once great Henry Daniell reduced to a tiny but important role, Peter Lorre as Admiral Pidgeon’s cheerfully cynical companion, veteran Regis Toomey as the ships’ doctor, and a rotund John Litel in a nothing role.

Robert Sterling made a useful Lee Crane, and even Kowalski was there…..AND, it was the same ‘actor’ who played him in the future series….though in the movie, Kowalski is actually seen to desert the ship!

VOYAGE was one of those movies that didn’t seem to take itself too seriously….Pidgeon’s self-mocking performance was refreshingly at odds with Basehart’s stolid and humourless Nelson in the future series. Basehart seemed to be constantly wearing that ‘intelligent looking’ frown, and his occasional attempts at humour were forced and lumbering. The movie’s Seaview also had a comically creepy-smooth Texan radio operator who made various tannoy-announcements during the picture, and Barbara Eden was forever chasing boyfriend Captain Crane around the boat….she must have said ‘Lee! Lee!…’ fifty times.

At one point in the movie, Pidgeon orders Crane to dive, even though half a dozen UN policemen are on deck….Nelson met Crane’s protestations at this murderous act with a jocularly dismissive ‘….they’re policemen, they’ve all been trained to swim’. In another scene, we are INSIDE the glass-fronted forward compartment of Seaview looking out at a diver swimming past the exterior of the ship in the background…..the diver appears to be larger than the people watching from inside who are stood in the foreground. Later, the Seaview becomes entangled with a mine, and the mini-sub sent to free it hurtles toward it at breakneck speed….and with hardly time to take aim, fires the torch at the chain holding the mine, and in the process sets off half the minefield….a wonderfully mad moment….a bit like an episode of the old Flash Gordon series. Just a few of the giggle-inducing moments during a film that managed to entertain on more than one level.

THE ADVENTURES OF QUENTIN DURWARD (1955) movie ***1/2 score ***

Sir Walter Scott’s 15th century Scottish hero is brought vividly to life by an unusually animated Robert Taylor. The movie is mainly set in a fragmented France, following the withdrawal of England’s forces of occupation, and the main struggle for power is between King Louis XI and the Duke of Burgundy. The plot revolves around Burgundy’s desire to form a political alliance with the Scottish nobility by marrying off his ward (Kay Kendall) to Durward’s uncle, the splendidly cadaverous Ernest Thesiger. Thesiger sends his nephew Durward to France to inspect his prospective wife…..that’s where the adventure begins.

In my opinion, QUENTIN DURWARD is one of the best of the 50’s costume romps thanks, mainly to its unrelenting pace……there’s always something going on……the script is always interesting, full of emotional AND historical significance, the action is particularly well staged, there’s plenty of intentional humour, a pretty good score from Kaper, wonderful French locations, fine sets and costumes and a plot that is both twisting and yet always easy to follow. Taylor makes an excellent Durward, Robert Morley is convincingly shrewd and strong as Louis, the underused Alec Clunes is a mighty Burgundy, Marius Goring is impressive as Burgundy’s ‘number one’, Duncan Lamont and Eric Pohlmanm powerfully head up the vicious black-garbed outlaws, and George Cole makes an amusing gypsy. The action builds to a tremendous ‘bell-rope swinging’ climax.

TWILIGHT OF HONOR (1963) movie ***1/2 score ***

An unusually paced movie crammed with larger-than-life characters and situations. An excellent Richard Chamberlain is the steadying influence on the chaotic events that take place within this film.

Like the New Mexico climate, the performances are suitably overheated….but to good effect. The plot involves the murder of a prominent upstanding citizen (naturally with an army of closeted skeletons), and rookie lawyer Chamberlain is given the ‘impossible’ task of defending the accused ‘low-life’. Aspiring senator James Gregory, an actor very much at home in such an OTT production, provides a formidable foe as prosecutor. The judge, the accused, the victim (seen in flashbacks), the wife of the accused, and just about everyone else in the cast chew the scenery…..and the prominent score further enhances the exaggerated mood. Oh, and Linda Evans has a small role as the victim’s daughter.

That great British star-character actor Claude Rains enjoys one of his last meaty film roles….and boy, he doesn’t waste a syllable. Ageing and obviously in ill-health, Rains easily keeps pace with the movies’ energy….here he plays a notable and flamboyant retired attorney who ‘advises’ Chamberlain outside of court hours.

ELEPHANT WALK (1954) movie **** score ***

British colonial Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) is the exotic location of this flavourful Hollywood account of an English tea-planter, his young wife and the jungle-world around him. An ingratiating performance from Peter Finch, playing the tea-planter, provides the necessary backbone to the production. Elizabeth Taylor is radiant as his wife…..and Dana Andrews is effective as Finch’s compassionate American foreman. Vivien Leigh was the original choice in the Taylor part, but after filming began was considered unsuitable, and indeed Leigh can still be seen in several long shots.

The movie begins in rainy old England, and we briefly glimpse the Finch/Taylor courtship…..then it’s Ceylon all the way. Magnificent colour photography beautifully captures the authentic locations, complete with hundreds of REAL-LIFE tea-planters and herds of marauding elephants. Waxman’s luminous score matches the romance and drama of the situation.

Soon after arriving on Finch’s massive plantation, the novelty of Taylor’s situation soon wears thin…..the Finch family home is a massive and intimidating mansion, the other Brits from nearby plantations are hard-drinking, course and rowdy, and the servants are suspicious of the master’s young wife…shades of REBECCA. It soon becomes clear to Taylor that Finch’s deceased father still dominates all aspects of life on the plantation…..only the affable Andrews displays a healthy disrespect for the man who originally developed the plantation, and Taylor naturally turns to the American for comfort……a tentative romance begins. We also soon discover that Finch’s father built the heavily fortified mansion right in the middle of an ancient migratory elephant trail….indeed, the old mans’ grave is right at the head of the trail, defiantly goading and challenging the gathering elephants. The lengthening drought provokes not only a lethal bought of quarantining cholera, but also the local elephants into a search for fresh water…..perhaps along the old Elephant Walk!

You can probably imagine what happens next…..a very satisfying movie.

THE NAKED TRUTH (1957) movie *1/2 score **1/2

It looks good on paper…..but THE NAKED TRUTH is a desperately unfunny British farce.

A peerless cast, headed by ultra-smooth Dennis Price, is all at sea. Terry-Thomas, Peter Sellers, Shirley Eaton, Peggy Mount and Miles Malleson are good….but the best of performances mean nothing if the script is poor. The music is…well, farcical…not bad, but it may have SEEMED better if the movie itself had been any good.

Though on the plus side, Noah Wyle did give a good performance tonight, as well as the European(?) doctor. Novac or whatever his name was? He was good, too. But I must say I'm not surprised to see that Benton is still the S.O.B. a**hole he's always been, though he did show more character at the conclusion than he did in any other episode. And I can't believe they haven't gotten ride of Dr. Romano and Laura Innes. She's one of the worst characters I've ever seen in any television series. In his final episode, I wanted Ross to grab her crutch and beat her over the head with it!

Oh, well. 'nuff rambling . . .

ESCAPE TO BURMA (1955) movie **1/2 score ***

Definitely a case of it’s-so-bad-it’s-good. Cheap and tacky production values, atrocious acting, an hilarious script, a ludicrous story, and a cast of fading stars, combine to create an entertaining Hollywood movie.

The ‘location’ is British Burma….but the movie could quite easily have been filmed at Burlington Park, here in England, considering the manicured ‘jungle’…..apparently, the exteriors were actually shot in California.

The plot has American Robert Ryan accused of murdering the son of the local native king and seeking refuge with teak-plantation owner Barbara Stanwyck….naturally, romance ensues…..British Burma police commissioner Reginald Denny has the difficult task of placating the native king whilst upholding British justice. Police officer David Farrer is despatched to apprehend Ryan before the native king’s own lynch-mob gets to him first.

Along the way the viewer is entertained by all manner of performing elephants, monkeys and succulent dialogue. For example, teak-boss Stanwyck’s command of her army of lumber-shifting elephants prompts Ryan’s facetious ‘…you certainly have a way with elephants…’, hysterical stuff. Louis Forbes’ score matches the movies’ absurdly overblown tendencies…..a lush, dreamy, very romantic, but extremely derivative main theme is heard throughout the picture, often dressed-up with choir and exotic instrumentation….to good effect

PENTHOUSE (1933) movie ***1/2 score N/A

A typically sharp pre-Hays code (almost) production. Everything about PENTHOUSE is slick…from the New York locations to the smouldering script. The great Warner Baxter, my favourite actor AFTER Ronald Colman, is in his usual fine form, this time playing a sophisticated and worldly-wise lawyer who tangles with crime-boss C Henry Gordon, becomes emotionally attached to Myrna Loy, and generally makes life less than easy for his faithful manservant…the wonderful British character actor Charles Buttwerworth.

No dramatic score as such, just some period music inserted every so often…and as is usual for a 1933 production, there is a generally primitive look to the proceedings. However, the style, energy, performances and script more than compensate for any superficial weaknesses.